Eew

Oh man.....

Why do the bathrooms at work always smell like...musky....arse...?
*gag*

The third stall is also always unavailable.
Like...WHY?!

Yea, basically this post is directed towards Denise.
Can you answer my questions?!
:S

Unusual pains

During softball practice yesterday, I seemingly threw out my elbow. I don't think I warmed up properly, so after a while it was really sore. One would tend to assume that it's tennis elbow, but I've never suffered from that condition before. Not when I bowl, play badminton, or anything else for that matter. It started to feel better three-quarters of the way through practice because I stopped throwing hard and just took it easy.

It felt fine when I woke up today, and there was no pain or soreness at work. However, just now, a cramping...sore...kinda sensation has started to creep in. Hrm...

Then, of course, there was concert duty today. I had hoped to be in bed by midnight last night. Knowing me, it obviously didn't happen. I finally slept around 1:00 a.m. I stayed up just to post a blog. Oh well. It was due time. Anyway, I woke up at 6:00 to shower. I felt okay at first, but as the day EVER-SO-SLOWLY passed, I totally started to give. By 3:45 or so, I could literally barely keep my eyes open. I would find my eyes suddenly closed and I'd be somewhat startled that I'd dozed off, only to find that two seconds later my eyes were, again, but mere slits. I had to make a trip of the bathroom just to go for a walk. So, I worked 8:45 to 5:00, then bummed around the office from 5 til roughly 6:15. I walked over to Timmy Ho's and pinked up a medium Iced Cap (I needed ANYTHING sugary and somewhat caffeinated), and also got an UBER tasty chocolate danish! I made my way over to Roy Thompson Hall (RTH) after that and worked Concert Duty in the box office from 6:45-8:15, and made my way over to the Customer Service Desk after that. I bummed around til 9:15, then took off to meet Brian, Emily and Sopheak at Empress' TenRen's. I'm home now and SO gonna go crash soon.

Oh....and there are always the others pain(s). Whatever. I'm always hurtin'.....

This time, I'm disappointed. Maybe Anne is right? It's not that I didn't think it myself...what she said. However, it's just sort of hard to fathom after all that's happened and all that's been said. I just can't believe that it's entirely flipped now. *siiiiiiiiigh*

It's been alright!

Okay, quick post before bed per request...just cuz I know that I won't have time to type up an e-mail.

This is how I spent my Victoria Day long weekend:

On Friday, I met up with Zin after he got off work in the morning and we headed to the house to chill and pack and watch the O.C. season finale. I was at the house until 1:30 a.m. or so...and I didn't get home til roughly 2:00 a.m. He dropped me home, and we said our goodbyes.......................

Saturday the was Shirley's BBQ down at the Beaches with her high school buddies and YUBC. That was pretty chill. I spent most of the time at the grill (as usual), but I did get to toss the softball around a bit near the end of the day. I burnt my finger on the flippin' grill though. ARGH. What a painful blister. It's not so bad now; it's actually not as bad as you would imagine it to be. However, it was SO tender at the time. *OUCH!* I went home afterwards and spent the evening scrubbing the grills. Black, soapy suds flew EVERYWHERE in the laundry room. In the end I had to scrub down the walls.

Mish and I went to church together on Sunday morning. Man, it was SO jokes. Our usual priest wasn't there, and Father Webber wasn't present either. I think they were both away on vacation. Anyway, so at one point the whole church prayed the wrong prayer because the priest totally said the wrong thing. We had pho for lunch, then hit up Metro to get bubbletea at TenRen's. mMmm! Strawberry milk black, little ice, no tapioca, with a scoop of ice cream. Just as good as a green tea slush (no red bean) with a scoop of ice cream, OR regular milk black, no tapioca, with...you got it....a scoop of ice cream! SO tasty! Anyway, we were about to split after that, but decided to hit up Fairview for a "little while"...which turned out to be the rest of the afternoon. I saw this TOTALLY hot pair of shoes. Like, okay, so they're not the HOTTEST shoes I've EVER seen, but those who know me know that I totally have problems finding running shoes. I literally hate most of what I see on all those shelves in stores. So this pair of Nike's totally caught my eye....and now I CAN'T stop thinking about them. Mish wouldn't let me get them though - she knew that I needed work shoes more. Anyway, this is what they look like. Mind you, I also need new badminton shoes, cleats for softball, and running shoes that I would actually have the heart to play in. I totally would NOT want to muck up THESE shoes if I got them. :( HOT shoes here! If Daniel Wu were in shoe form, he'd be this shoe right now. So after a day of shopping - I also bought two belts from Jacob Connexion that were on sale; $10 each! - I went home to have dinner with family. Yea, I really need to be home more often for dinner before I get slaughtered by the 'rents.

On Monday I woke up around .....a late hour (LOL!)...showered, and started to clean my room. I cleaned out the fish tank, organized some stuff, etc. Emily, Brian and Jackie arrived around 5:00 p.m. and we hit up Pacmall. I withdrew some cash from TD, then bought a phone card at some Chinese store (yea, that REALLY explains a LOT in Pacmall - "some Chinese store"). Brian and I got a bag of curry shrimp chips and a Sunkist that was "made of real juice". Somehow curry and orange pop totally don't mix. Don't try it. *shudders* We picked up Charley from Mandarin afterwards and retrieved Jackie's car from Metro. Emily headed home and we went to Mix2 to shoot some pool. Finally we were hungry enough, so we headed to Nagoya for sushi buffet. We even got a 10% discount this time cuz Charley knew some waitress there! *woo-hoo!* We dropped Pam home after dinner, who'd dropped by to say hi. Next we hit up the house and fed the frogs, followed by hamster torture. LOL! I swear Charley's female hamster is gonna have a heart attack one of these days. Jackie took me home around midnight, and I went to bed around 4:00 a.m. after Brian's phone died out...I think?

Today, I woke up to the phone ringing at around 7:30 a.m. HE CALLED!!!!!!!! I was so ecstatic to hear his voice! We talke for a bit til he had to go for dinner with friends (12-hour difference). I called him back per arrangement around 10:30 a.m. and we talked almost noon. Yea, I ended up being late for work, as I was supposed to be in for 1:00 p.m. I tried my best to rush outta work at 5:00 p.m. I met up with Sopheak at Empress and we found Denise by the TeaShop 168 on Yonge. Off to softball practice we went, which was so much fun! I got nailed in the thigh by a grounder, but it's all good. No bruises! YAY! Okay, so yea, it was super fun! Sopheak's such a star player! Heehehe! GO PHEAK! So yea, Grace (not YUBC Grace, but rather softball Grace) dropped Sopheak and I off at my place, where Emily, Kent and Shannon were waiting for Sopheak. I couldn't head out as I needed to sleep early for work at 8:45 the next morning, but oh well. I ate some dinner, chatted with some people, and now I'm 37 minutes overdue for bed! AHH! Nites folks!

P.S. So I guess this post didn't turn out to be so short afterall......

The wait begins

It feels as though, for the next little while, I'm going to have to try my best to keep busy. To keep my mind off of a certain something. Or, try, a certain someone. I know, I know. It's not a long time, but it just feels as if a void is going to be there for 21 days. The world will still turn, the clock will still tick, and life will move on......as it always did and always will.

The somewhat logical part of me (that seems to function on the whole.........usually....) knows and is perfectly aware of the fact that it's not THAT long....and that it's obviously not an eternity. That doesn't go to say that I shouldn't be allowed to feel bummed out though.

So, as I was saying, for the next little while, I'm going to try to keep busy. Not that I don't normally keep busy, I think? I don't know. It just feels like I now have to purposefully and deliberately plan things, as opposed to just......being? Anyway, I'm going to want to meet up with friends, high school buddies especially....that I don't get to see very often during the school year, and do some much-needed catching up. I'll toss some softballs around, hit up the courts and bat the bird around a bit, and possibly even make use of my fitness centre shoetag for Tait. Oh, and let' not forget spending time at home to be with family so that I'm not spazzed at too often for not being home enough. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, with that said....

I miss you....
Yes, already.

Powerful

Lifehouse - You And Me

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seems so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

What are the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
And me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

How sad...

So I'm eating dry Froot Loops from those miniature boxes of Kellogg's cereal because I'm too lazy to go to the staff fridge to get my milk and pour it into my bowl so that I can have wet cereal.

I really wish the milk was closer.....

Okay, I could've so made it to the fridge by now if I didn't type this post....and instead dragged my butt to the fridge for milk.

Oiiiii........

Hungry....

So I'm sitting here at work, taking calls on and off. Patrons are funny; they either don't call for 10 minute intervals, or they ALL like to call at the same time and flood our lines. Awesome.

So I was on the phone with this one patron for quite a long time earlier this morning. He told me to guess his age and he'd guess mine. He though that I was 28. I guessed that he was 30. So I was off by about 35 years. So what? I'm bad at guessing. He was off by 9. He was very surprised to find that I was born in HK, funny enough. Should I even have been giving away my personal information like that? LOL! He's got a 75 lb. black labrador retriever that he and his wife named Likorice. He recently released a CD, and had 10 world-renowned pianists play at his house for free. I take it he's some crazy classical/orchestral hotshot? Either way, he was nice.

Then there was another patron who called in freaking about how the TSO "wastes money" in mailing out so many ads and reminders to him, as well as enclosing paid postage envelopes. I didn't bother explaining to him that the only time that we get charged for said envelopes is when they're actually used. What a doofus. Either way, he was complaining how we mail him donation and renewal reminders after he's "already renewed AND included a donation each year". Hence, he wanted to be removed from all solicitation lists. Somebody must've woken up on the wrong side of the bed today.

Anyway, so back to my original topic. I can finally go on lunch in about 6 minutes (i.e. at 1:30 p.m.). The phones have been pretty quiet for the past 10 minutes. I'm soooo starving and waiting to go get my two submarines from the fridge.

I'm feeling better since my last few posts. Things have brightened up a bit. Hopefully they stay this way.

I currently have a hatred for moving, flying, airplanes, and anywhere outside of Toronto. Don't ask.....

Okay....guess what?

LUNCH TIME!

Oceans apart, day after day...

This song is driving me nuts....and I can't imagine how it's gonna make me feel over a duration of 3+ weeks.

Monica feat. 112 - "Right Here Waiting"

Oceans apart
Day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice
On the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
I see you next to never
How can we stay forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted
All the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter and I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive
This romance, but in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance

[Instrumental Break]

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
(I'll be, I'll be right right here, oh waiting on youuuuuuuuu)
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I'll be right here waiting for you
Oh, I love you
Oh whatever it takes
Whatever you do
Whereever you go
I'm never leavin' you (I Will Be Waiting)
I'll be right here waiting, for youuuuu oh oh, youuu

Some of the best and the worst

[feeling]
best: much-needed hug on a Sunday evening in the parking lot
worst: being let down, and things falling through

[taste]
best: a tasty piece of meat (i.e. lamb or beef)
worst: toss-up between an Amoxicillin capsule exploding in your mouth, or the aftertaste in your mouth from a very MSG-ified meal

[sight]
best: a true and honest smile that results from sheer carefree silliness over the webcam
worst: to see loved ones sad...

[words spoken]
best: "You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me;..."
worst: the ones that are left unsaid....

[smell]
best: fresh natural scent after a shower
worst: ummm...there are too many to list - B.O. is way up there on the list, I guess.

so many moments.........

I don't know anymore

There are several things that I feel like I'm not sure of anymore. It's funny how...a mere 3 months ago...I was absolutely lost in some areas of my life. Over time though, with much thought and deliberation, I'm starting to slowly gain an idea of where it's headed. That was sort of my biggest problem back then. With that gradually being solved now, other issues have taken the place that it once held - a slot in the "Problem Files". (and no, I didn't steal that term from work)

I guess that, lately, with so much happening, I've constantly been brought to question it. I've been tested. It's been tested. Occasionally I feel like I'm pressed to gauge how worthwhile it all is. At times I'm absolutely fed up with it all. Other times, I smack myself and ask why I would ever question or re-consider it. I feel like I'm constantly swaying back and forth. Am I fence-sitting?

The talk that I had with Gail while sitting in the parking lot of the candle factory in Orillia really helped me get through this past weekend. Even with Lake Simcoe being a few steps away from the camp, and two awesome campfires, and plenty of laughter and fun times, I still felt pretty empty this past weekend - something that instigated early on in my trip. I guess it bummed me out and it's a shame now that I think about it. I now realize that I wasn't fully able to enjoy the camping trip as much as I could've....or more like, should've. I have to let things go.

Over the past little while, I've noticed many things - one of them being that I could have had a very fun day, but more often than not I go to bed disappointed or angry or mad or upset. I guess it's just not the best feeling; to end off a seemingly good day on a sour note.

I went back to LAT yesterday with Emily to help Rebecca prep for OFSAA. It brought back a lot of memories once again. Each time I go back I end up leaving with feelings of nostalgia. Those really were the days. What I would give to go back to Grade 12. Things weren't perfect then. Life is never perfect. We do no live in a perfect world, obviously. However, things were simpler then. I thought I'd found the cure for my woes....but now I seriously wonder - have I really?

I don't really know why I'm writing all this stuff. I guess I feel kinda blue...and when I'm blue, I tend to talk.

It's so frustrating when people want the best of everything and the worst of nothing.

Last Tuesday was quite enjoyable. I went for bubbletea take-out with Iola after ABC...and we did what we used to do all the time. We sat in my driveway and talked. What good times.

With that said, I'm gonna end off with a small note: Life can be full of such splendid and amazing surprises, but there are so many disappointments in between.