Dear self, just suck it up and get over it already?

Sometimes, I just feel like the biggest f-ing idiot that has ever walked this Earth. Honestly.

Hang-ups and peeves are but mere preferences that you actually realize. It doesn't mean that everything goes in your favour.

The past month and a half has been an emotional rollercoaster of hell. The stress of school bombardment, family, a load of other worries, along with some weird-arse disturbing dreams....is just getting to be a bit much to tolerate. Yea, you hear me complain about it all the time. Yes, I admit it. I'm just plain sh*tty at coping with it, okay?

I'm just a freakin' moron sometimes. At times, I don't think before I speak....or I push peoples' buttons because I know it'll work. WHY? Why am I so stupid? I'm just...so angry at myself right now. Just...so stubborn and not open to anything else. If I can't tolerate being in my own skin at times, I wonder how my friends deal with it.

Yet here I sit, wallowing in this pathetic state of self-pity. Those who don't give me the benefit of the doubt probably think that I'm fishing for a compliment or some sort of comforting comment. Assume what you will. You're free to think as you please.

Thank goodness Joe isn't awake right now. If he were, I bet he would be the first person I would snap at. He always is...and that just makes me feel bad. It's not fair for him...but what can he do? He's got a raging stress-anger-machine of a sister. How fortunate.

Man, I can't study anymore. It's the same banal cycle every 4 months. Like, I'm telling myself, enough already.
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- "It ain't Cloud Nine, I can tell you that."