Beyond the exterior...

I put on a face today, and it has held up thus far. How long will it be before I falter and everything comes crashing down?

As I sat through lunch, I could not help but hold back tears. I so very much wanted to let them flow freely, but I was not about to be weak once again.

I can't seem to formulate adequately appropriate sentences to describe how I'm feeling right now. I feel rotten inside. I feel butterflies in my stomach, but not the kind that you feel before a job interview or first date. It's the kind you feel when impending doom is upon you. I feel exhausted from lack of sleep; from lying in bed restless and wide-eyed as I stared at the ceiling. I'm mentally drained from having had to run around campus for errands. I'm psychotically stressed about May 1st.

I want to SCREAM.